1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,837
(Willie)
This is the way it began
that extraordinary night.
2
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:08,607
The night he came.
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,810
I'm gonna be in the garage,
calling Bochev.
4
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,812
Me too!
Who's Bochev?
5
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,748
Bochev is my friend
in Yugoslavia.
6
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,687
Dad, can I look
through the telescope?
7
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,423
Of course, my son,
enjoy the cosmos.
8
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,997
Dad, can I talk to Natalie,
after you're through?
9
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,298
Sure.
10
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,700
I wanna tell her
about my new boyfriend.
11
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,636
New boyfriend?
What's his name?
12
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,806
- Lash.
- "Lash?"
13
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,475
That's not his real name, is it?
14
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,311
You don't approve, do you?
15
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,747
I don't even know...Lash.
16
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:55,087
This is K-7-2-6-X-A-A,
Los Angeles calling Belgrade.
17
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,258
- How are you guys doing?
- Fine, dad hates Lash.
18
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,026
And I'm looking for Venus.
19
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,394
Did you find it?
20
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,998
No, but the neighbors are
watching "Body Heat" again.
21
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,667
Brian.
22
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,669
Stop spying on people.
23
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,207
- Just get ready for bed.
- I'm hungry.
24
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,543
Well, that's because you didn't
eat your mash potatoes.
25
00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,545
I don't like mash potatoes.
26
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,113
Come on.
Did anyone feed the cat?
27
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:25,084
- 'Oh, I'll feed him.'
- Feed him my mash potatoes.
28
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,552
Lucky eats cat food.
29
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:29,455
Now, I know
why we named him Lucky.
30
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,293
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
31
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,527
Sure.
32
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,895
- Oh!
- Hoo!
33
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,031
- Darn!
- You alright?
34
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,433
Yeah, I guess the CB
must've crossed circuits
35
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,801
with the short wave.
36
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,804
You know, it's not easy
being a 16-year-old.
37
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,373
[sighs]
I know, I'm immature
sometimes..
38
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:50,909
- You know, you put so much--
- I was talking about Lynn.
39
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,578
Lynn! Right.
40
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,580
[sighs]
Was there a problem there?
41
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,482
She thinks
you hate her boyfriend.
42
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,684
Such-such a bright girl.
43
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,588
I-I'll talk to her.
Right away.
44
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,056
We will get this thing
straightened out.
45
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:06,091
Let me just, let me just
shut this thing off.
46
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,160
[machine beeping]
47
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,428
What's that noise?
48
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,996
[beeping continues]
49
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,600
Oh, my gosh.
50
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,802
It's the infrared radio band.
51
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,937
I've locked into
something in space
52
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,440
a pulsar or a, or a satellite.
53
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,308
[beeping continues]
54
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:28,580
Hello? Hello? This is
K-7-2-6-X-A-A. Can you read me?
55
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:31,116
[speaking in alien language]
56
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,652
They're answering, but I don't
recognize the language.
57
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,088
Why don't you
just shut it off?
58
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,624
I, I can't.
I, I can't control it.
59
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,125
It's locked in on a signal.
60
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,161
[beeping continues]
61
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:45,264
Willie, Willie, what's that?
62
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,632
Oh, my gosh!
63
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:49,134
It can't be.
64
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,870
The lights! What happened
to the lights?
65
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,473
Daddy, daddy,
what's that thing in the sky?
66
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,176
- What's going on?
- It's closing in fast.
67
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,944
I think maybe we better..
68
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,279
[crash]
69
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,623
[engine humming]
70
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,059
We...we have a visitor.
71
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:20,265
[theme music]
72
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,166
[music continues]
73
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:23,061
- Here he comes! Here he comes!
- Brian, stay with me.
74
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,064
Oh, my gosh!
It's hairy!
75
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,034
- Let's put it over here.
- Not on the couch!
76
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,637
Lynn, clear off
the coffee table.
77
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:35,340
- Quick! It's heavy.
- Heavy and hairy!
78
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,647
[gasps]
79
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,556
I can't believe it.
80
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,492
What do you think it is?
81
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,128
A real alien.
82
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,763
Willie..
83
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,332
Willie, what is it?
84
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,301
I don't know.
85
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,936
Brian's right. It's an ALF.
86
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,972
- What?
- An ALF.
87
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:10,108
An A-L-F. That's short
for "Alien life form."
88
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,845
- Can ALF stay in my room?
- No!
89
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,747
No, this thing is
not staying in anyone's..
90
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:16,982
It's not staying!
91
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,685
Why not? E.T. got to stay.
92
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,754
E.T. was a movie.
This is real.
93
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,823
This is on our coffee table.
94
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,261
This is incredible.
95
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:31,129
Truly amazing.
96
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,031
After all those
years of wondering
97
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,300
and hoping
that it might be possible
98
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,102
to contact alien life
99
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,105
to have this happen,
it's a miracle.
100
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,207
It's the fulfillment
of a lifelong dream.
101
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:45,811
- We've got to get rid of it.
- Absolutely.
102
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,279
We don't know
anything about it.
103
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:49,848
It could be dangerous.
It could be diseased.
104
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,950
It could be hostile
or have hostile friends
105
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,486
'or acquaintances.
It could be anything.'
106
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,956
'You mother's right. We'd better
report it to the authorities.'
107
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:01,059
But what if the authorities
do something to it?
108
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,296
Yeah, what if they
poke needles in it?
109
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:07,866
No, they wouldn't
poke needles in it.
110
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,501
Would they, Willie?
111
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,903
Well, they could.
112
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,640
I don't think they would
but they could.
113
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,776
And...they might.
114
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,847
I know this's very exciting,
but I don't see any alternative.
115
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,849
We've got to report this!
116
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,183
What other choice
do we have?
117
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:28,587
Argh! Ah, can I make
a suggestion?
118
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,389
Yeah, sure, why not..
119
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:34,359
Well, if it's not
too much trouble..
120
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,828
[grunts]
121
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,231
...how about fixing
my spaceship?
122
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,770
Hello! Read my lips.
123
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,873
It talks.
124
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:52,444
It's heavy, it's hairy
and it talks.
125
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:55,280
Good, now,
how about fixing my spaceship
126
00:06:55,282 --> 00:07:00,018
so I can get my heavy,
hairy body out of here?
127
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:06,792
Uh, I-I'm not sure
I can fix your spaceship.
128
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:09,060
I mean, not tonight,
not-not in the dark.
129
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,696
Yeah, you could use
a light in that driveway.
130
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:14,399
You know, I've been meaning
the put one out there, but..
131
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,802
You know how it is, you get busy
with one thing and another.
132
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,236
- Willie!
- I'm sorry.
133
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,739
- It just seems so human!
- Hey!
134
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,507
There's no need
for name-calling.
135
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,878
I don't think we should
get too friendly, Willie.
136
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,447
She's right.
137
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:29,648
Let's have a snack now.
138
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,716
We'll get friendly later.
139
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,085
Snack?
What-what kind of a snack?
140
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,255
- You got a cat?
- You eat cats?
141
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,925
- You can't eat Lucky.
- No, no cat eating.
142
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,760
- Not in this house.
- Alright, alright.
143
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:45,597
How about a cat-food can?
I could use the roughage.
144
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,899
Can we give ALF a can, mom?
145
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,168
- Please?
- Please?
146
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,638
Alright.
147
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,973
A dented one.
148
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,043
Come on, ALF.
149
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,946
We're going with you.
150
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,114
Trusts me about
as far as she can throw me.
151
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:06,418
That is amazing.
Isn't that amazing?
152
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,987
Willie, will you come down
to Earth for a minute?
153
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,790
An alien being has come
to live with us
154
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,459
and eat our cans
and snack on our cat.
155
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,661
(ALF)
'Yeah, this will do fine.'
156
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,997
[munching]
157
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:24,302
Alright. Alright.
Just give me one day, okay?
158
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,439
If I can't get ALF going,
we'll tell somebody.
159
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,374
Just one day.
160
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,609
[Kate sighs]
161
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,978
Okay.
162
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,546
[Lucky snarls]
163
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,517
He's quick!
I'll give him that.
164
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,522
[instrumental music]
165
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,227
[alarm buzzing]
166
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,167
Mm. Morning.
167
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,836
Morning.
168
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,005
[screaming]
169
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,941
- Willie!
- Willie!
170
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:09,481
- What's going on out there?
- Nothin'. Just screaming.
171
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:13,385
- Move out of the way.
- No problem.
172
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,523
[sighs]
Let me put it this way, Willie.
173
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:21,026
I don't think
this is going to work out.
174
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,029
I'll take care of this.
Everything's fine.
175
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,964
Everything's under control.
176
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,669
[toilet flushing]
177
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,707
Interesting concept.
178
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,176
Please, come away
from there. Come, come on.
179
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,045
Come on!
Over, over here by me.
180
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,713
We've a little problem
we have to discuss.
181
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,716
Yeah, Lynn and I got
to gabbing last night
182
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,184
and she sort of feels..
183
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,454
Boy, you're blind as a bat,
aren't you?
184
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,889
Would you give those
to me, please?
185
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,490
No problem.
186
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,194
You must understand
187
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,597
that Kate is very nervous
188
00:09:58,599 --> 00:09:59,698
about this whole thing.
189
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,867
Absolutely. Who's Kate?
190
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:06,571
- My wife.
- Oh, yeah. She snores.
191
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,940
- She doesn't snore.
- You calling me a liar?
192
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,376
You just keep
your distance, alright?
193
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,346
- And try to be considerate.
- No problem.
194
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,715
That is not considerate.
195
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,117
That is...the opposite
of considerate.
196
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,653
That is inconsiderate!
197
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,822
Look, look,
let's just, uh..
198
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,290
Let's just settle down here.
199
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,258
Let's just take this
one step at a time.
200
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,294
No, there's no need
for you to shave.
201
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,964
- You look fine.
- I wanna do everything you do.
202
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,499
You're my idol.
203
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,672
I'm.. I'm going to
take a shower now.
204
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,474
Count me in.
205
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,643
I'd like to take it alone.
Thank you.
206
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:48,046
Okay. Just don't use
all the hot water.
207
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,185
- Do you mind?
- Never saw a thing.
208
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,088
And stay away from the window.
209
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,624
We've got a very nosy
neighbor, Mrs. Ochmonek.
210
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,794
"Ochmonek."
Sounds like a typo.
211
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,664
Just don't let her see you.
She might turn you in.
212
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,134
[grunts]
213
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,036
[bottles clanging]
214
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,841
Trevor, is there such
a thing as a cross
215
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,177
between a kangaroo
and an aardvark?
216
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,813
(Trevor)
'Ah, stop putting
yourself down.'
217
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,314
I'm not talking about me.
218
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,316
I'm talking about
that thing staring at me
219
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,118
'from that bathroom window.'
220
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,687
(Trevor)
'What?'
221
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:34,125
- I don't see nothing.
- It was there a second ago.
222
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,994
And I think it was shaving.
223
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,530
Yeah, right,
and I'm Sean Penn.
224
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,102
[screams]
225
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,306
- Towel.
- You talking to me?
226
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,375
Yeah, would you hand me
something to dry off with
227
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,509
please?
228
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,811
You got it.
229
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,587
Will this do the trick?
230
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,127
No problem.
231
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,566
[instrumental music]
232
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,871
¶ Left a good job
in the city ¶
233
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:23,341
¶ Workin' for the man
every night and day ¶
234
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:26,177
¶ But I never lost
a minute of sleepin' ¶
235
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:29,180
¶ Worryin' 'bout the way
things might have been ¶¶
236
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,281
ALF, you want to hand me that--
237
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,016
¶ Big wheel keep on turnin' ¶
238
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,351
(Willie)
'ALF, you wanna toss me--'
239
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,753
¶ Proud Mary keep on burnin' ¶¶
240
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,354
- ALF!
- Yaow!
241
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,690
Yeah, how you doing
up there, William?
242
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:41,292
Frankly, I could use
a little help.
243
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,294
I don't know much
about this thing.
244
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,765
Me either. I just turn the key
and it goes.
245
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,135
I'll get the wrench, dad.
246
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:53,238
Hey, Lynn, you don't happen to
have a phone in here, do you?
247
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:57,075
- No, why?
- K-L-V-Z, Bonus tune.
248
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,544
Fifteenth caller
wins a new Porsche.
249
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,580
Oh, wait, forget it.
Must be a licensed driver.
250
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,415
- Wrench, please.
- I'm a licensed driver.
251
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,950
Quick, what's the name
of the tune?
252
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,385
Wrench, please.
253
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,321
"Born In The USA."
254
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,956
No wonder I didn't know it.
255
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,258
I'll call.
256
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,793
- 'Wrench!'
- What's the phone number?
257
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:18,730
Area code, 3-1-1 5-5-5 9-8..
258
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:22,901
Wr-r-rench!
259
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,469
...4-5.
260
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,439
- Sorry, dad.
- Thank you.
261
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:32,110
ALF.. I think
you'd better try to make
262
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,612
contact with your...people.
263
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:38,449
I have tried.
I've tried again and again.
264
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:41,319
It's-it's an exercise
in futility.
265
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,289
Uh. Uh, let's face it.
I'm trapped here!
266
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,959
I'll never see the-the
purple side of my planet again!
267
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,929
[ALF sobbing]
268
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,635
Too dramatic?
269
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,205
[chuckling]
Oh, ALF.
270
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,608
What are we gonna
do with you?
271
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,310
I guess, you'll just
have to love me
272
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,378
for as long as it lasts.
273
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,215
We will.
274
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,021
¶ Big wheel keep on turnin' ¶
275
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,290
¶ Proud Mary keep on burnin' ¶
276
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,525
2-3-4
277
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,494
¶ Rollin' rollin' ¶
278
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,296
¶ Rollin' on the river.. ¶¶
279
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,998
Look, if you're not gonna help--
280
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,567
I'm out of here. Look, if you
need me, I'll be in the house.
281
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,470
- We won't need you.
- I'll still be in the house.
282
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,342
Yo! Lucky, my man.
283
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,676
[Lucky snarls]
284
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:42,247
¶ Before my song is done ¶
285
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:45,250
¶ And now my song is done ¶¶
286
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,352
Do you get "Sesame Street,"
where you live?
287
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,021
No. And, frankly,
I don't get it here either.
288
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:53,424
(women on TV)
'If you said, "It was the cow,
riding on the subway."'
289
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,493
'You're absolutely right.'
290
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,330
Brilliant. This and the letter
"I," in one day.
291
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,165
I got to get
something to drink.
292
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,734
Me too.
293
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,273
Where are you two going?
294
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,041
We got to get
something to drink.
295
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,776
We're parched.
296
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,411
Okay, but..
297
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,214
...no soda pop, and nothing
to eat before dinner.
298
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,483
- Yes, ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.
299
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,419
Jeez, what's with the warden?
300
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,658
[pops]
301
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,363
I said no soda pop.
302
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,232
It's not soda pop. It's beer.
303
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,467
[burps]
You're about out of Coors.
304
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,404
What?
305
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,372
[sighs]
Give those to me!
306
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,608
Hey, careful.
His is still full.
307
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,809
[sighs]
308
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,147
Now you just listen to me, ALF.
309
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,950
I will not allow this
kind of behavior in my house.
310
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,820
This boy is only six years old,
he is not to drink beer
311
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,755
and you are not
to drink beer.
312
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,590
And I don't know
what it's like on Mork
313
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,592
or whatever planet
you come from but--
314
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,127
Melmac.
315
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,430
- What?
- Melmac.
316
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,565
That was the name
of my planet.
317
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,667
It's also
what it was made out of.
318
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,937
What do you mean, "was?"
319
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:17,108
Well, you see that's
the thing, Kate, uh...ma'am.
320
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,576
Melmac's history.
321
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,811
[chuckling]
Wait a minute.
322
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,447
Um, are you trying
to tell me that..
323
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,649
...you can't go
back to Melmac?
324
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,417
It exploded.
325
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,422
This was my street.
326
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,426
Now, now, if Willie
fixes my ship
327
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,795
I suppose I could
start a new life
328
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:43,134
somewhere else, on some desolate
crater-filled asteroid.
329
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,771
Spend the rest of my life
fending off gamma rays.
330
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,773
No, ALF. No.
331
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,609
We want you to stay here
with us, don't we, mom?
332
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,644
Brian, please try
to understand.
333
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,080
Hey, the kid wants me
to stay.
334
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,518
- ALF, do you mind?
- Oh, yeah, no problem.
335
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,889
Honey, we can't
hide ALF forever
336
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,125
and I can't go on
like this.
337
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,493
Watching him every moment
338
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,895
wondering what he's going
to do next.
339
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,874
But he'll be good. He won't
break the rules anymore.
340
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,810
Will you, ALF?
341
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,445
Cross my heart!
342
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,181
[Lucky meows]
343
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,383
How you doing, Lucky?
344
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,153
See? No problem.
345
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,621
[ALF growls]
346
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,689
[knock on door]
347
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,892
Oh, no! Who could that be?
348
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:44,095
- I don't know.
- Don't answer it, mom, please.
349
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,198
(Kate)
'Brian, I, I am going
to answer the door.'
350
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,599
- No!
- Yes!
351
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,868
It's probably just Mrs. Ochmonek
but even if it's not--
352
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,171
- It's not!
- What?
353
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,872
It's not Mrs. Ochmonek
354
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,175
unless she's just
joined the army.
355
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,382
It is a military man.
356
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,717
What if he wants
to take ALF away?
357
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,219
I don't know, Brian.
358
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,455
But if that's why he's here for
and if I decide
359
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,722
that's the right thing to do
360
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:14,425
you'll just have
to understand, okay?
361
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,893
Yes, mom.
362
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,061
[knock on door]
363
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,563
We gave at the office.
364
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,932
Shh!
ALF.
365
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,069
[sighs]
Did you fix the spaceship?
366
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,637
I'm sorry. I couldn't do it.
367
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,973
I just, I don't
have the right parts.
368
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,041
[knocking continues]
369
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,710
Ball's in your court.
370
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,847
[knocking continues]
371
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,718
- Mrs. Tanner?
- Yes.
372
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,088
I'm Darnell Valentine
with the Alien Task Force
373
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,490
stationed at Edwards.
374
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,259
- 'Mind if I come in?
- Yes, I do.
375
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,727
Fine with me.
376
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,929
Mrs. Tanner, we've received
an anonymous tip
377
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,765
that you might be harboring
a space creature.
378
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,635
- Uh, a space creature?
- Yes.
379
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,138
Hairy. About three feet tall.
380
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:04,809
Is, uh...is he considered
dangerous?
381
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,577
Hard to tell
until we get in the lab.
382
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,680
Uh-huh and, um,
what would you do with him
383
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,582
if you did get him,
you know, in the lab?
384
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,784
Oh, the usual battery of tests.
385
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,454
We'll see how he responds
to intense heat
386
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,624
freezing cold, high voltage
387
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:24,295
toxic substances, pain,
sleep deprivation
388
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:27,598
inoculation, that's needles
389
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,967
and of course,
dissection.
390
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,002
[gulps]
391
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,472
Why don't you just
pull it's toenails out?
392
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,007
You didn't let me finish.
393
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,946
Don't bother.
394
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,849
We are not harboring
any space creatures.
395
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,218
Fine. Thank you.
Have a nice day.
396
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,221
Uh, excuse me, sir,
could you, just tell us..
397
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,856
who gave you our name?
398
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,791
As I told Mrs. Tanner,
that information is
399
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,893
strictly Ochmonek,
uh, anonymous.
400
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,596
Goodbye.
401
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:05,503
- Thanks, mom.
- Thanks, mom.
402
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,139
Yeah, thanks..
403
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,307
...mom.
404
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,910
I love this woman.
405
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,649
[instrumental music]
406
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,801
Let see if I can get
this thing going.
407
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,770
Pull these here.
408
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,675
Melmac touch.
409
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,677
Hello!
410
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:49,213
Anybody there? Yo!
411
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,183
Calling anybody from
Melmac. Hello?
412
00:20:52,185 --> 00:20:54,352
Skip? Larry?
413
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:57,054
Muffy? It's Gordon.
414
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,690
Look, I don't know,
if you can hear me
415
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:03,227
but I just wanted to
let you know, I'm okay.
416
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:06,230
I-I'm living with what
they call a family.
417
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:10,735
Yeah. They're-they're sort of
like a herd, only smaller.
418
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,903
Yeah, there's this
guy named, Willie
419
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,740
and he's got a good heart
and lots of smarts
420
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,908
for someone without fur.
421
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,810
'Then there's his wife, Kate.'
422
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:22,480
'Well, she pretends
she doesn't like me, but, uh..'
423
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:23,748
...she'll come around.
424
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,883
Yeah, oh, oh,
and hey, dig this
425
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,085
her hair is the
same color as mine.
426
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:30,421
Yeah, only hers is natural.
427
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:33,157
Haa! Haa! Ha! Yeah!
428
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,893
Yeah and they've got
these two terrific kids
429
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,429
who-who both idolize me.
430
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,765
So, so you know they're okay.
431
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:44,568
But, uh, I wanted to
tell you something.
432
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:48,072
I, uh, I really miss all of you.
433
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:52,109
And the thought of
never seeing you again..
434
00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:54,912
[sniffles]
...sort of breaks my heart.
435
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:57,748
'So, uh..'
436
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,117
...you know, if you could..
437
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,753
...try to get in touch with me..
438
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:07,158
...uh, or better yet, come by.
439
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:11,829
And, uh, I'll introduce you
to these lovely people.
440
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,767
And then we could eat their cat.
441
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:25,009
So, the droid says to the
cranble, "To tell you the truth
442
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,677
"I'd feel even better
if she lived
443
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,779
another six light years away."
444
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:30,715
[all laughing]
445
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:34,452
(ALF)
Yeah. Yeah.
446
00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:38,956
I...I think that
really was amusing
447
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,058
six, six light years away.
448
00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:45,329
I guess you had to be there.
I was!
449
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:47,865
[all laughing]
450
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:52,536
More mash potatoes, please.
451
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:54,505
Hey, lob 'em over here
when you're done with them.
452
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,074
I'm getting kinda
used to this mushy stuff.
453
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,845
I like mash potatoes
too now, mom.
454
00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:03,114
He likes mash potatoes now too.
455
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,416
You know, I hate
to be a black cloud
456
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,351
but what are we gonna do
with ALF when Lynn has her
457
00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:08,486
pajama party next week?
458
00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:10,855
- Oh, that's right.
- Hey, no problem.
459
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,690
I wear a size five
460
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:14,392
but nothing with feet in it.
461
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:15,993
[all laughing]
462
00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:18,863
Oh, I've got a zillion of 'em.
463
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:20,498
Here's another one
you won't like.
464
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:24,068
Look, these two space travelers
are going through Andromeda, see
465
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,003
and they run into
a space patrol.
466
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:28,038
He was a rookie, now remember
this it's important for
467
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,441
the end of the story. Anyway,
while they're travelling..
468
00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:35,446
[theme music]
469
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:02,807
[laughing]
470
00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:06,277
[instrumental music]